The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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