I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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