You're a womanizer and a bitch.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
