Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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