direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
