She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
