i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
