He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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