we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
