god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
