Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
