Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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