We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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