It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
