we're chasing vodka with high fives
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
