In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
