your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Every concussion has its silver lining
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
