I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
