Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
