her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
