goodnight i made you a song goodbye
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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