I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i will never coherently bang her
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
