And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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