So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
