I'm drive I can fine osifer
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
