you traded sex for a burrito?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
