Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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