If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
