one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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