Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
