Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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