We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
honey bunches of taint.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
