The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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