Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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