I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
