Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
