every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
