when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
