What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
