We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
