ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
