Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
