Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
