Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize