eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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