Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
