Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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