So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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