Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
