Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
