is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
