I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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