So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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