yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
