Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
