I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
