Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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