it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
