dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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