I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Bring me that man meat
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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