Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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