Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize