He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
