I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
