I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
