If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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