I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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