it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
