I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
