Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
