yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
